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Reflections everywhere

June 8, 2008 – 4:25 pm

I was on my way to college, reached just outside the main gate and saw this girl, dunno but I always have goosebumps whenever that girl is around me. What could it be, love, possibly not but infatuation, certainly not. I remember 6th June was a busy day with preparation for Bioinformatics paper prior to the day and then exam on the day. I even lost the meaning of birthday, its been a long time since I saw some friends coming over to my house on birthday.

Anyway get back to the matter, she came over to me, or was I ? “Happy Birthday !” - she said. ??!! She remembered my birthday out of blue ! Whoa that’s quite unpredictable.

Now I can’t be more sissy than that, so then I showed a little courage and told her - “I don’t know but I never cared for anything till now, the complete 4 years of BE. I never felt so lonely (sometimes lone wolf can be so lonely), maybe I thought that you will be always around me and whenever I need I will get a glimpse of you. but now since the four years of BE has come to an end, I feel a sense of losing someone, missing someone again. Though I can still possibly go on with my life but yes the crumbs of my goodness will slowly diffuse, I will be more mechanical than what I was and I am. I don’t expect some kind of favor or so, I know my future is uncertain and am not ambitious like everyone. I live today and die by tomorrow, it just never stops. I had a heavy heart till now, since I had hidden my feelings for you now, certainly you are my paradise and now I feel much lighter. I hope you understand that love is not the thing but there is something altogether different from it, which you and I have. I like to be free but every time something clings to me. Thank you for listening all this. This is my warm goodbye to you once and for all”.

Then I kissed her on cheek…what?…I have exam tomorrow and it was just a dream…a morning dream…a build up by my subconscious mind ? And no, today is not my birthday, it was on 6th of June, 2 days back. What all this mean? I was feeling lonely and never knew..my subconscious mind knew it…may be I should stick back to my web life and get busy.

Our mind knows everything but we deny and bury it till one day it becomes a part of our dream.